I spent my younger days having fun and hanging out with friends and sometimes I miss those days of carefree abandon. Staying up drinking and hanging out with friends until the sun comes up, going home to sleep, then getting up the next day and going to work for a few hours only to do the same thing that night. Those were the good old days. Im not very old by any means but a person has to grow up sometime dont they? What with social norms and whatnot to contend with. I got married when I was 22 and now I am 24, I have an alright job that pays just the same but it is definitely not what I want to do forever. In fact I cant wait until I can actually leave that bullshit job full of fake smiles and belittling myself just to be able to get through the night without any big ordeals or being put on "the list" for when we move to the new facility. I get to go to work everynight to a job that I do not enjoy while my wife (whom I love very much) gets to go out and still have that careless kind of fun that I dont get to partake in anymore and I cant help but get upset because I am jealous. I have been working night shift for about 3 years now and I am still not used to it and in fact I think that its kind of ruining my life but hey I'm the "new guy" at work so I automatically get the shitty shifts and days off (Wednesday and Thursday to be exact, Yay! dont be jealous). I have been working my ass of going to school since I was in kindergarten and I just want some kind of break in the bullshit. Do you ever just want to say "fuck it all" and drop everything and just leave? Just go out and do what you want on a whim? To forget all of your daily responsibilities and just go? But you can't because thats what makes us responsible adults. Without responsibilities we would be nothing more than children with cars and alcohol. I miss being young and dumb, young enough not to know better, whats my excuse now. When I fuck up I am totally aware of it and in fact I probably had the thought process "ahh fuck it". Anyways, growing up sucks because you dont get the privilege to be stupid and careless anymore but I guess everyone has to do it sometime.
This whole thing probably doesnt make any sense but I'm gonna save it anyways, its just a rant to me. I like my life but I miss my past sometimes is all Im trying to say.
Nothing further at this time.